


Kiss me, and smile for me

by Iamprongsie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Ahsoka - E. K. Johnston, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: (kinda), Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, I promise I'll write something stupid and cracky for these two soon, Last night before Malachor babeyyyyy, Mild Smut, This hurt me to write and Bee yelled at me a couple times, canon-typical sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:28:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22784860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamprongsie/pseuds/Iamprongsie
Summary: “I can’t come with you, can I?” Ahsoka shakes her head, and Kaeden feels her world ripping apart.“I won’t put you in danger,” Ahsoka mutters, looking down at her dinner.“How about puttingyourselfin danger?” Kaeden snaps.
Relationships: Kaeden Larte/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	Kiss me, and smile for me

**Author's Note:**

> There's one smut scene in here, if you want to skip it stop reading at 'She leans over and kisses Kaeden' and start reading again at 'Once they're out of bed,'

“I’m going to Malachor,” Ahsoka says. “I have to face him.”

Kaeden drops her fork. They’ve been talking about it for weeks now, looking over how dangerous it is. Vader’s a serious threat, and Sith temples aren’t friendly to anyone, especially people like Ahsoka. “Are you sure?” she says. Please, please, if there’s any kindness in this universe, make it so her wife doesn’t have to leave. 

“I’m sure.” Ahsoka replies. “If I can’t face him now, he’ll destroy all of us.” 

“Oh.” Kaeden says, feeling as if the world has stopped. “I can’t come with you, can I?” Ahsoka shakes her head, and Kaeden feels her world ripping apart. 

“I won’t put you in danger,” Ahsoka mutters, looking down at her dinner. 

“How about putting _yourself_ in danger?” Kaeden snaps. 

“This is my duty!” Ahsoka snaps back. “I’m part of the reason he fell, I should be the one to face him!”

“It’s not your responsibility to fix him, love,” she replies. “Or the galaxy.”

Ahsoka carries enough guilt with her anyway, and Vader should not be a part of that. From what Kaeden can piece together, through careful conversations with Rex and her wife, he made a choice after years of manipulation, and that’s all there is to it. Ahsoka often wonders whether Anakin would have stayed as Anakin if she hadn’t left, but if she hadn’t left then she would most likely be dead, and Kaeden would still be on Raada, watching Miara grow up and leaving herself behind. 

“I… I just feel like it is. I knew what he was like before his fall, I could try and bring him back.” Ahsoka says. “At the very least, I have to face him. I have to know why.”

Why could mean a lot of things. Why he fell, why Ahsoka wasn’t there to stop him, why the entire galaxy went to hell while her back was turned. 

“I can’t stop you,” Kaeden says slowly. “I know you have to do your duty, but _please_ , love. Don’t leave me.”

“I’ll come back,” Ahsoka whispers. “Don’t ever think I’d willingly leave you, I love you too much.”

Kaeden takes her wife’s hand. “Ok, so you’re going. When do you leave?”

Ahsoka’s face falls. “Tomorrow morning.”

“Tomorrow _morning?_ What happened to ‘two weeks notice for off-planet ops?’” Kaeden asks. Typical command, making everyone wait on tenterhooks while they make decisions, then giving almost no notice. 

“After we went to Lothal, Kanan and Ezra had to decide whether or not we were gonna do it,” Ahsoka explains. “I only found out about it before dinner, I’m so sorry.”

Kaeden sighs. “Are you packed?” she asks. “Any last minute briefings?”

“Yes, and no.” 

“Wanna go back to our room?”

Ahsoka’s eyes light up, and Kaeden revels in the familiar look. She might not see that for a while, better make the most of it now. 

Later, when they’re both sated and Ahsoka is asleep, facedown in Kaeden’s shoulder and snoring away, Kaeden lies awake and thinks. 

There’s a strong possibility Ahsoka might not come back from this one, especially if she’s going to face Vader. If she dies there (please, _please_ whatever’s out there, don’t let that happen), if she’s injured, if she comes back but she’s changed. Kaeden can handle it. She’s always prided herself on being prepared, and she knew what she was getting into when she married an ex-Jedi spy. 

Force, she loves her wife so much. Kaeden runs her hand across Ahsoka’s back, warding off tears. Ahsoka stirs, feeling Kaeden’s turmoil in the force. 

“Hey, hey. Love, it’s alright. It’s going to be alright, I promise.”

“Come back safe,” Kaeden says, letting the tears fall. “I can’t live without you.”

Ahsoka hugs her, letting her cry. Kaeden cries herself to sleep in her wife’s arms, relying on her familiar comfort and warmth one last time. 

Ahsoka’s alarm goes off in the early hours of the morning, and she gets out of bed and makes caf in their small kitchen before waking Kaeden. Kaeden takes the caf gladly, and pulls Ahsoka back into bed with her. 

“What time do you leave?” she asks. She fears the worst, that Ahsoka has five minutes left. That Kaeden won’t get to see her go. 

“I have an hour,” Ahsoka replies. “Kanan wanted to leave early.”

“Stay with me?” Kaeden asks, taking Ahsoka’s hand. “For now, I mean. I know what your duty means to you.”

She leans over and kisses Kaeden. “I love you,” she murmurs between kisses along her jaw. “I don’t ever want to leave you again,” she continues. Kaeden lets her tears fall and kisses her wife’s montral. Ahsoka kisses down her neck and chest, pushing Kaeden’s loose sleep shirt off and dumping it somewhere. 

“After this, don’t ever leave me,” Kaeden chokes out, while Ahsoka’s hand moves over her chest, then under her pants. “We’ll win this shitty fucking war and then we’ll retire somewhere safe and keep a farm or something and nothing will ever split us up again- _ohfuckpleasedothatagain,_ ” she gasps. Ahsoka slowly circles her clit again. “Love, we don’t have time for slow and sweet,” Kaeden says, almost frantic with it. “We have forty-five minutes before you leave and I have to say _goodbye_ ,” she continues, tears rising in her eyes. “ _Fuck_ slow and sweet.”

Ahsoka obligingly speeds up and soon Kaeden is shaking apart in her arms, tears in both their eyes. They hold each other and cry for a while, and stay in bed until the last possible second. 

Once they’re out of bed, Kaeden reluctantly dresses in her uniform, counting down the minutes in her head. She runs through a mental checklist of Ahsoka’s go-bag, remembering that the spare blaster was taken out after the last mission. Can’t have that, not when she’s essentially sending her wife into the great unknown, with only a vague idea of what they’re facing. 

Ahsoka dresses in her armour, Kaeden helping her with her arm protectors and chestplate. Her bag is by the door, full of ration bars, water rations, spare boots, and her holdout knives. Kaeden takes one last look at it and adds a small medpac and the spare blaster, over Ahsoka’s exclamations that ‘it’s only a short mission,’ and ‘no-one’s going to need two knives _and_ a blaster, I have my sabers!’

Just to drive the point home, Kaeden adds extra charge packs and then hands the bag to her wife. “With all that, you better come home safe to me,” she says. “And tell Ezra to be careful.”

Ahsoka’s face softens as she takes the bag, looking down at it. “Thank you. For doing all this, I mean. And thank you for putting up with all this, I know we don’t get much time together and-” Kaeden cuts her off with a kiss. 

“I love you,” she says tearfully. “And I made a promise to stick with you through thick and thin, no matter what. And you’re going to come back safe and we’ll fight this war and win it, and then we can be together forever.”

Ahsoka kisses her in return, and checks her chrono. “I’d better go,” she says regretfully. “Are you coming to see me off?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Kaeden replies. “Lead the way.”

The hangar is full, corvettes and freighters all lined up for their next move. Ahsoka leads her through them, until they’re planetside in the take-off area. The Ghost is standing there, the Phantom beside it, with Sabine and Zeb doing some last minute checks on the shuttle. Hera’s standing beside the Ghost, with Kanan, talking quietly. As Kaeden walks closer, she can see Rex standing by the hangar door in the early morning light. 

“Captain,” Ahsoka says, smiling softly at her old friend. 

“Commander,” he responds, and they clasp elbows. “Stay safe out there,” he says. “I’m not losing another friend.”

Ahsoka nods. “I’ll do my best,” she promises. Rex nods and walks off to help the Spectres with the shuttle, and Kaeden can’t help but frown. Behind Ahsoka, she can see Kanan and Ezra getting ready to board, and the other members of the crew saying their final goodbyes. 

“Kae, please smile,” Ahsoka pleads. “Will you wait for me?” she asks, heartbreak clear on her face. 

Kaeden smiles softly, bringing Ahsoka’s face down to hers. 

“Kiss me,” she mutters, held in Ahsoka’s strong arms. “And come back safe, or Rex and I will come and find you and bring you back.”

“Is that a threat?” Ahsoka asks.

“It’s a promise,” Kaeden says, and Ahsoka kisses her.

“Ahsoka! We have to go!” Ezra yells, and Kaeden vaguely hears Kanan telling the kid off. 

“Give them a minute, kid, they’re saying goodbye.”

“I love you so much,” Ahsoka whispers. Kaeden kisses her furiously, crying again. She’d thought by this morning she’d have no more tears left, but they still keep coming. _Ahsoka might not come back_ keeps running around in her head. 

“I love you too,” she replies. “Now go, before Ezra decides to leave without you.”

Ahsoka laughs wetly, kisses Kaeden on the cheek, and hugs Rex before running onto the ship. The gangway goes up, and the last thing Kaeden sees before the ship glides into the dawn is her wife’s face, staring at her from the rapidly closing ramp. She closes her eyes. 

(The next time she sees her wife will be in two years, although she’s not to know it at the time. She’ll be patching up fighters from the liberation of Lothal and Ahsoka will come in the door and time will stop, until they fall into each other’s arms again.)

**Author's Note:**

> Soundtrack for this fic was originally Freddie Mercury's 'Love me like there's no tomorrow' but the end scene is definitely inspired by John Denver's 'leaving, on a jet plane' (the title's from there as well)
> 
> I haven't watched rebels season 2 in a hot minute and I forgot what happened so I have no idea if Vader was a surprise or not- in this one Ahsoka knows what she's gonna face in the temple. (So it's kind of canon compliant but not really)


End file.
